Anyone who is or has been married knows that it isn't the kitty cats and rainbows kind of life you see on T.V. Unfortunately, all of life's problems can't be solved in 30 minutes (minus commercials of course) or with a hug and a smile. I was the romantic (or delusional) type who thought we would just live on love, we loved each other and it would just work. Oh little did I know.
Little did I know that there would be days that literally the way he was breathing would make my blood boil, or that human facial hair in the sink for the 15th time would make we want to spit fire! Or how about the days when you look around at the piles of laundry needing to be done, dishes to be washed, garbage to be taken out and kids who would pass out before they stop screaming and you say in tears, "Honey, I need some help". And the response you get, that makes you want to scratch someones eyes out is, "What do you want me to help you with?" HELLO!!! Any of this sound familiar? It's amazing how mad one other human can make you in record time!! My marriage hasn't been kitty cats and rainbows....more like snakes and train wrecks. To say we have had our ups and downs is putting it nicely. And at times I have thought I just couldn't do it anymore and I felt like I had lost all faith in him as much as that hurt my own heart, and I didn't know where to go from there.
And then I am reminded that there really is a God and the more I open myself up to believe and try to start trusting in him again, the more I see that hearts can be changed. I hear him say "because I love you NO MATTER WHAT, your my family and your not running me off" and I feel a little less broken and a little bit of that faith restored. I am reminded that there is a plan for my life, our life, and someone is watching out for me even when I'm not smart enough to do it myself!
The service is church on Sunday was about worrying and why it is a sin. I heard something there that really stuck with me, Pastor Tony said "Worrying makes small things cast big shadows". Wow! I am the worlds worst about letting a small problem get overwhelming and start spilling over to everything else in life. Before long that small problem, or cluster of small problems, can cast a shadow so big you start to question everything you are doing or think you know. I do this on a pretty frequent basis I'll be honest lol.
My blog is about couponing and saving money and I love that it is and that I have it and that there is atleast 1 person who can find something here to help them save to! And even though it's Tuesday soapbox day I wanted to post something a little bigger than that. I wanted to post that even when you feel like you have hit the bottom of the barrel, there is a silver lining....when you hit the bottom of your barrel you have no where to go but up. You can't forget who you love and you loves you, that your worth it and even when you feel unlovable your not, sometimes we all just need to be reminded of that.....even if it is by the guy who breathes annoyingly loud, leaves the hair on the sink, and wouldn't notice the laundry and garbage if it jumped up and did a little dance!!!!